The Blue Fire Team Spends a Night Out at the Best Escape Rooms in Kalamazoo

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, seven intrepid adventurers laced up their boots, zipped up their hoodies, and set forth to experience the best escape rooms in Kalamazoo. Armed only with a half-eaten bag of gummy bears, two Code Red Mountain Dews, and an inflated estimation of their own abilities, they piled into the less-than-spacious cabin of a blue Subaru. They dialed their GPS to Clock N Lock and, after a slight detour, promptly became lost. The timid among them wondered, “Has it already begun?”

It had not.

Still, the night was young, the air was crisp, and they knew instinctively that somewhere, far beyond the temptations offered by nearby artisanal tea shops, there were boxes and padlocks and doors and puzzles waiting to be cracked. They pressed forward into the night. Or, really, it was still afternoon but for the sake of drama we’re going to retcon that.

They arrived ten minutes early to their 4:00 appointment, passed through the glass threshold, and entered a small, wood-paneled elevator. Already embroiled in the kinds of conspiracies that are invented by those who subsist on a cultural diet of L.A. Noire, Dungeons & Dragons, and David Lynch movies, they wondered aloud, “Has it begun?”

No, really, it had not. Not yet.

The group of seven who, by any stretch of the imagination, was less Magnificent Seven and more Mediocre Seven, exited the elevator into a spacious waiting area filled with oversized board games and vintage furniture. They were writers and artists and salesmen. They were young and old. Their legs, burdened with cramps from squeezing too many into a car too small, carried them nevertheless to the entrance of the UFO Diner. For the last time, they asked themselves, “Has it begun?”

Yes, this time it had.

Over the next hour, the team worked together. They surmounted challenges of designs both conspicuous and cunning. They splintered into factions who became obsessed with specific puzzles, followed threads to their logical conclusions, and regrouped to discuss important findings. Everyone contributed, everyone brought something to the table. In a particularly Slumdog Millionaire moment, the youngest among them breezed through a puzzle that had confounded his older compatriots. With each shackle unlatched, their goal drew closer until, at last, the door opened and they escaped.

This ragtag group, drawn together by common interests and proximity, emerged triumphant. They lingered still to discuss their accomplishment, snap photos, and feast upon complimentary candies made sweeter by the taste of victory. They vanished into the night, their arched taillights fading into the background noise of downtown Kalamazoo. They resolved to return, once more, to test their skills at Clock N Lock Escape Rooms in Kalamazoo.